KILL VOLCANO

In another Mordor:

This is a starting point: “imagine all the things a giant Sauron might do - sing unholy hymns to himself / anti-hymns to remake the world as he wants it; sit quietly with eyes open for several months; eat anointed elephants and stitched together groups of captive slave-elves and drink lava and foul water; bathe; piss; have the Weavers of Mordor create him godly raiments and wear them for a day and then rip them off his body and go naked for a while; etc.”

He is also known as MOLOCH, or BETELGEUSE. He exists (and by existing, threatens all) in this frail and flammable world. He is known of, and tolerated, like a mountain is tolerated. He is the one sending ash clouds and rains of burning worms downwind, and he is the one who changes that wind as it pleases him (or by accident, it is not clear). He is the reason no farmer’s almanac stays correct. He baked Gwaihir and kin in a stone pie many years ago then ate only half; the rest lies atop a mountain somewhere. He was once to be seen standing out to sea by Umbar, waist-deep, staring west for a year, before he methodically walked each street and burned it to the ground. He is the one chewing up the silver elf shrines and puking them up in blasphemous gobs.

A lot of idiots or fanatics follow him around. If he had an alignment it would be Mindless Evil or Chaotic Infantile, but his followers claim he is the Lord Of Destruction. He is Khorne’s dumb jock brother.

Followers:

1 Mohawked barbarians

2 Nose-ringed boarmen

3 Shirtless skinhead anarchists

4 Cracked out goblins

5 Skull bandolier ogres

6 Burn victim elves

Wielding:
1 Massive Mallets

2 Burning Spiked Ball on Chain

3 Sword Helmets

4 Stone Ram

5 Lava Crucible

6 Ridiculously Oversized Rusty Boots

Rituals
1. Twin Flames: A piece of the target’s body is burned on sacrificial fire; you receive identical wound/burn. From now on can wound yourself to inflict same on target (you are their voodoo doll)

2. Fire Belly: Cut out your stomach and replace it with ball of fresh lava. It is really there. Eat only meat and charcoal now. You can puke lava. It hurts all the time and glows.

3. Giantspawn: Build a stone golem and fill it with people. Light it on fire. It comes to life and just wants to dig a grave for itself but you can tell it where. Almost indestructible.

4. Pariah Bonfire: Keep pyre burning for a year with a single member of one same race each day. When completed every living member will have painful, visible flame halo, inspiring rage in all who see it

In 2006 while playing Halo my friend claimed that the announcer would say “Kill Volcano” if you ever killed 100 players in a minute. It was a dumb and easy lie but it became the name of our short lived metal band.