Wednesday, May 27, 2015

d6 witch spawn of alexander mcqueen



from here

They are all beautiful and dangerous, in their own way. The fight in the way of siblings (pettily, one-upping each other) and aristocrats (through other people) but are powerful in their own right if perturbed.

vampwives.png

1 Camomile Peg

Walks slowly, tentatively. Is unsure you should be here. Seems sure she should be.

Collects bonsai trees and diamonds.

Loves to be chased, both physically and intellectually. Acts coy and removed in conversation with brief bursts of honesty and revelation.

Fears standing in open spaces; always needs to be under a roof or have one hand on the wall.

Hurt by piercing projectiles (spears, arrows) and old ones are still stuck in her back. Pulling them out and shooting other people will heal.

Gore attack, knows Flesh into Salt
2 Penelope Wet

Stalks on water surface, high stepping, very deliberately like a crane. Saw it on a documentary once.

Collects orchids and fine crystal vessels.

Loves to catch underwater prey by walking over them and stabbing a sharp foot through the surface. Bathes in algae water to regenerate.

Fears the presence of fire - extra extra vulnerable to it. Flees an open flame.

Hurt by fire obv. Dousing in boiling water also affects her Oz style.

Frond tentacles attack from her hat; knows Bones into Axolotls
3 Cinnamon Roz

Always fake jogs, like someone pretending to hurry across the street in front of your car. Thinks this makes her more likeable.

Collects ashes of decadent things and paintings of sunsets.

Loves to be fed strips of raw meat, especially by her pet bloodparrots.

Fears touching hair; recoils and feels sick.

Hurt by moonlight and sleep; magic sleep stuns her and saps health. She drinks espresso regularly.

Attacks with peacock-head scorpion tail hidden under dress; knows Whiskeyblood
4 Scurrilous Jules

Moves in long leaps and horizontal lines, like in a wuxia film.

Collects geisha fans and flutes made of bone.

Loves to hear woodwind music. Sways and leans in time. Whistles along but it comes from behind you.

Fears and loves being trapped. Seeks it out but then goes into a rage. The pursuit is the thing. Will fall madly in love with anyone who can imprison her but also puts them on her hit list.

Hurt by crushing weights. Flattened like Wile E. Coyote if a big rock is dropped on her.

Attacks with sharpened dress-fan blade; knows Become Squirrels


5 Susurrus Mab

Stands still, only shifting feet to achieve a more glamorous stance. Has moved when you look away or blink.

Collects beetles and Persian drow rugs.

Loves to eat sweet things - candy, nectar, honey. Also the smell of verdigris.

Fears cats of all kinds. They hiss at her and spit; lions and tigers will roar. Covering in cat piss will keep her away for a day if she's coming for you.

Hurt by secret truths whispered in her ear. Shrieks in pain.

Bee swarm attack; knows Skin into Petals
6 Pendulous Jem

Sways with a deliberate motion as she walks. Center of gravity seems to migrate around body over time, changing gait.

Collects wedding rings and unusual riding mounts (hippo, ostrich, etc).

Loves high places and deep pits - anything with dramatic verticality. Peers up/down from the thing for hours at a time.

Fears seeing straight lines and squares. At a rough box she will merely get snippy; a truly straight line will silence and cow her.

Hurt by sticky and entangling things. Webs, roots, glue. She clears and cleans her floors regularly, manically, wearing oversize latex gloves.

Body slams and wrestler moves; knows Gravity's Rainbow

What are you doing here, fashionwitch?

1
Is actually a different sister (roll) in disguise. Trying to commit misdeeds to defame her.
2
Looking for ingredients for a beauty potion. Another sister (roll) has been getting a little too much attention recently.
3
Looking for spot for a new lair to spy on sister (roll). Eager to size up and/or defeat competition in area.
4
Has been convinced the inhabitants (and she assumes you are one) are in league with sister (roll).
5
To steal an item from the collection of dear sister (roll). She loves them all so dearly!
6
Has heard that this area has a <1 Mirror. 2 Lake. 3 Glass. 4 Hole to the Void.> in which to admire myself. Must get it before sister (roll).

Favor with one sister earns disfavor with the others - and vice versa. Royally pissing one off is a quick way to make five powerful NPCs amicable to you.

The McQueen Witches assume everyone they meet is looking for an aristocrat to tell them what to do, so will quickly give you a task. They may or may not just as quickly forget, possibly giving you another

And what would you have me do, your Pettiness?

1
Has heard that sister (roll) is dating. Find a hotter new beau to incite jealousy.
2
Discover what sister (roll) loves most dearly so I may spoil it for her.
3
Speak well of my beauty in
<1 Atlantis. 2 Mummified Market. 3 Drow Capital. 4 Parliament of Rooks. 5 Unseelie Court. 6 Vampire Country Club.>
where, I am told, they adore sister (roll) more than me.
4
Has grown bored with her purpose here. Complete it for her.
5
Kill or destroy each of sister’s (roll) suitors. She is getting a big head and it is quite insufferable.
6
Retrieve sister’s (roll) dress. I know father really meant it for me.


Life Hack: instant weird NPC portraits from googling any designer that Lady Gaga likes

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

i encounter the goblin burgher

Goblin with a Gun.

I ASK THE NAME OF THE GOBLIN BURGHER

d10
d10
d6
d10
d10
1
Bob
bin
Du
Bob
bin
2
Dob
din
Fitz
Dob
din
3
Gob/Grob
gin/grin
Mc
Gob/Grob
gin/grin
4
Hob
hin
O’
Hob
hin
5
Kob/Klob
kin/klin
Schmidt
Kob/Klob
kin/klin
6
Lob
lin
Vander/Von
Lob
lin
7
Mob/Nob
min/nin

Mob/Nob
min/nin
8
Rob
rin

Rob
rin
9
Sob
sin

Sob
sin
10
Wob
win

Wob
win

I EXAMINE THE APPEARANCE OF THE GOBLIN BURGHER
1. Ashen skin, balding
2. Albino-white, overlarge eyes
3. Grass-green skin, too many teeth
4. Matte black, snub nose
5. Greasy strands of hair in sparse braid, green-brown features
6. Extra gaunt, burgundy freckles
7. Ruddy color, lips whip-thin  even when pursed (he purses them now)
8. Beige skin, apelike arms
9. Lime green complexion, muscled torso
10. Skin like dried blood, excessive white hair covering forearms


I NOTE THE ATTIRE OF THE GOBLIN BURGHER
1. Striped pantaloons, powdered wig
2. Poorly refitted human-sized velvet robe, half-moon spectacles
3. Overlarge floppy hat, gigantic feather, no pants
4. Rat skin cloak, shirt sleeves too long
5. Purple bowler hat, amulets and medals of insect wings
6. False moustache on stick, velocipede helmet, goggles
7. Swallowtail cuffs, pigletskin waistcoat (quite fine actually)
8. Clashing orange pinstripe jacket, two left boots
9. Three large steak knives through a silken sash, slitted sleeves
10. This crap (5% chance includes lollipop)


I INQUIRE THE OCCUPATION OF THE GOBLIN BURGHER
1. Sawbones
2. Dragonfly breeder
3. Used terrier salesman (mounts)
4. Trash burner
5. Rag and bone (yes they’re different. hate each other actually)
6. Rat merchant
7. Barber
8. Midwife
9. Bookie
10. Courier


I LEARN THE SECRET OF THE GOBLIN BURGHER
1. Sustains itself by spreading corruption
2. Fortifies itself with embedded metal plates
3. Emits carefully focused harmonics
4. Particularly enjoys eating elves
5. Unfurls to attack
6. Declares own form ideal
7. Cultivates fungal camouflage
8. Traps prey in ribcage
9. Levitates constantly
10. Causes nightmares within 1 mile


I SEARCH THE POCKETS OF THE GOBLIN BURGHER
1. Strips of spiced rat jerky, wrapped in linen handkerchief
2. Extensive unfolding portrait of offspring in sepia
3. Filigreed pocket watch inscribed with depictions of Moloch
4. Ticket stub for goblin pawn shop with shiny rocks as payment
5. Fake monocle - loop of wire on a string
6. Worn and folded "A Connoisseur's Guide to Childnapping"
7. Deed to cluster of hovels off a branch of the town sewers
8. Single-shot concealable crossbow w/ nauseating poison
9. Snuff box full of ground glass & red lotus petals - energy boost + bleeding
10. One-finger scissors - minimum damage, easily hidden