Wednesday, May 20, 2015

i encounter the goblin burgher

Goblin with a Gun.

I ASK THE NAME OF THE GOBLIN BURGHER

d10
d10
d6
d10
d10
1
Bob
bin
Du
Bob
bin
2
Dob
din
Fitz
Dob
din
3
Gob/Grob
gin/grin
Mc
Gob/Grob
gin/grin
4
Hob
hin
O’
Hob
hin
5
Kob/Klob
kin/klin
Schmidt
Kob/Klob
kin/klin
6
Lob
lin
Vander/Von
Lob
lin
7
Mob/Nob
min/nin

Mob/Nob
min/nin
8
Rob
rin

Rob
rin
9
Sob
sin

Sob
sin
10
Wob
win

Wob
win

I EXAMINE THE APPEARANCE OF THE GOBLIN BURGHER
1. Ashen skin, balding
2. Albino-white, overlarge eyes
3. Grass-green skin, too many teeth
4. Matte black, snub nose
5. Greasy strands of hair in sparse braid, green-brown features
6. Extra gaunt, burgundy freckles
7. Ruddy color, lips whip-thin  even when pursed (he purses them now)
8. Beige skin, apelike arms
9. Lime green complexion, muscled torso
10. Skin like dried blood, excessive white hair covering forearms


I NOTE THE ATTIRE OF THE GOBLIN BURGHER
1. Striped pantaloons, powdered wig
2. Poorly refitted human-sized velvet robe, half-moon spectacles
3. Overlarge floppy hat, gigantic feather, no pants
4. Rat skin cloak, shirt sleeves too long
5. Purple bowler hat, amulets and medals of insect wings
6. False moustache on stick, velocipede helmet, goggles
7. Swallowtail cuffs, pigletskin waistcoat (quite fine actually)
8. Clashing orange pinstripe jacket, two left boots
9. Three large steak knives through a silken sash, slitted sleeves
10. This crap (5% chance includes lollipop)


I INQUIRE THE OCCUPATION OF THE GOBLIN BURGHER
1. Sawbones
2. Dragonfly breeder
3. Used terrier salesman (mounts)
4. Trash burner
5. Rag and bone (yes they’re different. hate each other actually)
6. Rat merchant
7. Barber
8. Midwife
9. Bookie
10. Courier


I LEARN THE SECRET OF THE GOBLIN BURGHER
1. Sustains itself by spreading corruption
2. Fortifies itself with embedded metal plates
3. Emits carefully focused harmonics
4. Particularly enjoys eating elves
5. Unfurls to attack
6. Declares own form ideal
7. Cultivates fungal camouflage
8. Traps prey in ribcage
9. Levitates constantly
10. Causes nightmares within 1 mile


I SEARCH THE POCKETS OF THE GOBLIN BURGHER
1. Strips of spiced rat jerky, wrapped in linen handkerchief
2. Extensive unfolding portrait of offspring in sepia
3. Filigreed pocket watch inscribed with depictions of Moloch
4. Ticket stub for goblin pawn shop with shiny rocks as payment
5. Fake monocle - loop of wire on a string
6. Worn and folded "A Connoisseur's Guide to Childnapping"
7. Deed to cluster of hovels off a branch of the town sewers
8. Single-shot concealable crossbow w/ nauseating poison
9. Snuff box full of ground glass & red lotus petals - energy boost + bleeding
10. One-finger scissors - minimum damage, easily hidden

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