Monday, March 13, 2023

d100 dark souls

 I recently returned to Lordran and have some thoughts on applying the lessons of Dark Souls 1 to ttrpgs slowly percolating. In the meantime, a stocker:

  1. A mute and imprisoned priestess, watched by a duplicitous warrior

  2. A prison with a demon trapped in the basement

  3. A monster in a courtyard, unaware of a balcony above

  4. A hidden barterer using delivery birds

  5. A priest who plans to betray his snooty noble ward

  6. Large nest, man-sized eggs

  7. A stash of red crystals. Can be crushed to visit another world

  8. A tall epitaph, a corpse pinned to it with a greatsword

  9. A toothy serpent under the floor of a disused shrine

  10. A large creature that eats rare minerals and spits out others

  11. A merchant with a freakish appearance. Keeps a legendary sword hidden among his things

  12. Soldiers watch a narrow path from above, firebombs at the ready

  13. An old witch peddles poisons from behind bars

  14. A gang of thieves sneak around from behind as dogs provide distraction

  15. A cooperative knight. Quirky interest becomes a consuming monomania

  16. A town, its front gate hijacked by a great creature

  17. A large animal and armed herders. It wear excessive custom barding

  18. A portcullis, closed until its keeper hears the signal bell

  19. A church tower where a goth dude offers absolution

  20. Beasts guard a rooftop, wearing ornamental armor and wielding halberds

  21. A slime hidden above, drops down to engulf passing heads

  22. A rodent the size of a bus, caged

  23. A merchant, cheerful in a wretched place, sells powerful exotic weapons

  24. A misshapen, waddling beast. Its ribcage is a gaping maw

  25. On a shadowed ledge, a sneak shoots venomous missiles. Carries the antidote

  26. A brute swings a massive club coated in poison. In his pockets: actual shit

  27. An enormous filter feeder. Its body obscures a scroll with a self destructive spell of great power

  28. A rickety wooden elevator driven by a cobbled-together water wheel. Surrounded by biting insects

  29. The sister of devils sells her secrets to those she deems worthy

  30. The hollow roots of a massive tree reach deep underground

  31. An inept knight waits at a high window, surrounded. Knows a holy blast spell

  32. An ornate bridge can rotate to connect different areas

  33. Down a hidden staircase, a demon sits in a chapel

  34. Silent archers guard a precarious side entrance

  35. Imps, in service of the church, wield javelins

  36. In front of the doors of a great hall lies a chance to hunt down a traitor

  37. A skilled giant bound to his craft in service knows the secret of lightning

  38. A magic ring empowers divine spells

  39. A teleporting mage guards a hidden but empty tomb

  40. A renowned dragonslayer and his corpulent lackey issue a challenge

  41. An ambush of thorny treemen waits among the bushes

  42. A stone clad knight emanates an aura of slowness

  43. The grave of a legendary knight, locked with a mystical seal

  44. An old smith looks for a blessed flame to enable forging special weapons

  45. A living statue of rare metal wields a mancatcher

  46. A huge glowing insect perches on a ruined tower

  47. Massive felines charge and tumble into their prey

  48. A band of warriors protect their forest from otherworldly invaders

  49. Easily dispatched myconids. Their death cries call the larger ones

  50. A warrior from a distant land. Welcomes any to join as he hunts people for sport

  51. A spirit. Can only be harmed by someone who has been petrified

  52. An elevator, its mechanisms inert and underwater

  53. The remains of a city destroyed to contain a spreading evil

  54. A red-robed mage applies his knowledge to physick

  55. Behind a locked door, a crank to unseal floodgates

  56. A giant mass of tortured souls slowly oozes forward

  57. A hooded warrior, seeks to drain life force. Leader claims they are merely antiauthority

  58. A wizard craftsman, self sequestered to avoid losing his lucidity

  59. A hidden crevice connecting two disparate areas, home to winged raptors

  60. A winding pathway up to snow covered steps, surrounded by impaled bodies

  61. A wielder of acid magic, his head bandaged and bulbous

  62. A rooftop corpse. Harpies watch to swarm the curious

  63. A bloated wretch charges blindly and swings a flaming torch

  64. A thin sword dedicated to a raven goddess

  65. A warren of tunnels at the bottom of a well

  66. A phalanx that has guarded a gate for an age, the soldiers stooped and melted from waiting

  67. A rotting undead beast who pulls itself apart to give chase

  68. A fur-covered giant with a weapon made to kill the gods

  69. A beautiful woman bids leave the kind denizens in peace

  70. A hefty golem examines an orrery. Holds a key to an ancient time

  71. Zombie soldiers sprout iridescent crystals

  72. A dragon's attendant uncannily danced with a trident

  73. Multistory bookcases, stairways crisscross between

  74. A huge monster whose breath sends victims to jail

  75. A snake man alerts the area with a megaphone alarm

  76. A cage of cephalopod mutants. Evidence that they were once women

  77. A warrior emerges from the belly of a beast. She searches for her father

  78. An invisible bridge marked only with bloodstains

  79. A giant butterfly lapping at the sparkling walls

  80. A cavern of skull-eating mollusks. Can sometimes break a curse

  81. Floating heads. They moan then explode

  82. A narrow canyon. Archers hide among crypts and tombs

  83. Dead warriors continue to pursue as long as a skull shaped lantern is lit

  84. A pathway lined with statues, several have spike traps. Skeletons give chase

  85. A pit full of rolling spike monsters

  86. A masked shut-in studies, surrounded by books. Can create illusory clones, lacks hands

  87. A priest-hating thief who sells the belongings of his victims

  88. A paradigm-altering vista of cosmic proportions

  89. An undead paladin, the legendary founder of his order, attacks any trespassers

  90. Among stalagmites, a shambling noble wields a huge scythe

  91. A tortured witch. Her servants prey on others for the means to ease her suffering

  92. A bunch of parasites skitter down a corridor. One is grossly incandescent

  93. A ledge overlooks a huge hall; several of a previously encountered 'boss' monsters loiter about

  94. A deformed giant guards his sister's tomb from grave robbers

  95. A petrified monster made from multiple giant insects animates when someone nears

  96. A pathway lined with gargoyles. Some are fire-breathing demons

  97. A tentacle monster eats weapons outside an exotic style shrine

  98. A bridge back to safety guarded by a living statue

  99. A flustered warrior offering to clear the path ahead out of gratitude

  100. A tangle of writhing roots contain a straining elemental of fire

Wednesday, August 18, 2021

welcome to ossic county

Alex Colville


  1. Conductor Hennifer - grumpy, whistle (warning travelers away from Shekel)

  2. Gregor Volkov - mute, carries carved walking stick, in TM Gang (playing chess with…)

  3. Hugard - tall, smug, TM Gang (singing Kate Bush songs to himself)

  4. Jess Brenkow - independent, overalls (polishing rifle parts, joining Ossic Mining as a deputy)

  5. Fassifer Pols - fop, perfumer (looking for new scents, meeting trappers)

  6. Leonore Samarkand - reserved, guilty (knitting, looking out window, fleeing from an accident)


  1. Conductor Hennifer again - grumpy, whistle (hurrying everyone off of the platform so she can leave)

  2. Rustup Whelk - wealthy, earnest (waiting with flowers for Leonore Samarkand to disembark)

  3. Jaki - pet cobra, leery (stroking pet cobra and waiting for Hugard to take her to meet Terrence Mito gang)

  4. Krader Maize - afraid, skitterish (sneaking silver nuggets, fleeing from ghosts by the old mine entrance)

  5. Secretariat Zhakah - veiled, stern (taking notes on town’s flaws on clipboard, travelling back to Ossic Mining HQ)

  6. Lefty Baird - scrawny, charming (selling this week’s Ossic County Omen for 50¢)


  1. “Skinny Step” Huber - high-strung, talented saxophonist (demanding Caruthers do something about the bees in the walls. It’s actually Renfro’s device)
    Lemuel Caruthers - bartender, calm, eyepatch (hefting beer barrel)

  2. Zedediah - goatee, quiet (debating the nature of spirits) with
    He-Who-Swims - stern, (examining Ossic County Omen)

  3. Giles Cuneiform - middle-aged, jolly (bargaining over machine parts) with
    Renfro - short, impatient (doodling a schematic on a napkin)

  4. White Spear - embroidered beads, spectacled (reading Faire Wood Withering)

  5. Ophelia Hennifer - innocent, long braid (propositioning)
    Deborah Barnes - armed, disillusioned (becoming more and more vocally annoyed)

  6. Grint Visper - shifty, unseasonably bundled (carrying $2000 in cash beneath long coat, waiting for meetup with Terrence Mito gang tomorrow)


  1. WHAT GHOSTS? Sheriff dismisses haunting claims

  2. Evan Dunderling Scandal

  3. Rev. Nathy Carn Cole warns of locusts

  4. Tracks to be built to Desacado, says Company

  5. Whiskey Short After Smash at Yves Still

  6. UNNATURAL BONES: Dry spell reveals unusual fossils in Lake Donahey

Saturday, September 12, 2020

blatant appropriation - as - worldbuilding

 Now after the second sun was complete and giants were all gone, the world was all dark. The devils in hell lacked in souls to punish and so they conspired. “If men’s dark dealings are illuminated they will be driven further to sin. We will have our fill of evil souls to feast upon!”

And so they gathered all the flames of the ten hells to go out over the earth, so there would never be a time of darkness and all men’s shameful deeds would be clearly seen.

This worked for a time, and many souls hid from the terrible heat by fleeing to the newly cooled hells, but eventually they became fewer once more. You see, shrewd and wicked men reasoned that their deeds would only condemn them if they died and faced judgement. They resolved never to die, but to live off the bounteous crops granted by the fertile soil and the ten warming flames. 

The devils were furious when they learned they had been outwitted by men. They bid all ten flames to burn hotter in the sky, to reduce crops to ash and desert and to melt the frozen lands.

Now in those days there was a proud archer of the jaguar tribe who boasted far and wide of his great skill. “No man can place a target that I cannot strike,” he said. His king heard this, sweating in his palace and considered how to humiliate this arrogant man. He brought the archer, who was named Imix, before him.

“I have heard many stories of your precision in war and sport, and your great boasts,” said the king. “Now is your chance to prove it. There are some birds circling above my palace. They seek to steal the cold water that I hold in my cenote. If I blindfold you and you are yet able to strike one with your arrow, you may take a drink.”

The king did not tell Imix that the birds were the devils’ flames; great fire birds that shone as they circled the burnt lands. In this way he hoped that even if Imix were to succeed the devils would kill him and he would not have to give him any reward.

The archer agreed and was blinded. Taking up his bow, he drew back an arrow and released it toward the sound of beating wings (and towards the heat on his face). Everyone watching gasped, saying, “impossible!” When Imix removed his blindfold, he saw the arrow had struck true - piercing two birds at once!

A cool breeze was felt from that part of the sky. Quickly, the archer felled three more of the birds. Clouds began to form as he fired, and rain fell on him as he killed four more. The last one fled in panic to tell the devils.

When they heard of this, the devils roared and screamed with rage over their schemes being foiled. Nine of their fires were gone from the sky, so they instructed the last fire bird to fly higher and higher to evade the arrows of the archer Imix. 

The grateful men of the land lifted the archer high above their heads and seated him on the highest throne, declaring him their worthy king. Imix ruled the undying men of the land for a long age until the later days when he set out to kill the cold devils that continued to menace his kingdom.

The old king fled to the mountains, taking some of his warriors with him. They shiver in the cold and yearn for flight, searching the land for the fallen firebirds.

The devils in their cold underworld seek souls, and repayment for their lost flames - their fallen suns, and the undying jaguar men.