d100 dark souls

 I recently returned to Lordran and have some thoughts on applying the lessons of Dark Souls 1 to ttrpgs slowly percolating. In the meantime, a stocker:

1. A mute and imprisoned priestess, watched by a duplicitous warrior

2. A prison with a demon trapped in the basement

3. A monster in a courtyard, unaware of a balcony above

4. A hidden barterer using delivery birds

5. A priest who plans to betray his snooty noble ward

6. Large nest, man-sized eggs

7. A stash of red crystals. Can be crushed to visit another world

8. A tall epitaph, a corpse pinned to it with a greatsword

9. A toothy serpent under the floor of a disused shrine

10. A large creature that eats rare minerals and spits out others

11. A merchant with a freakish appearance. Keeps a legendary sword hidden among his things

12. Soldiers watch a narrow path from above, firebombs at the ready

13. An old witch peddles poisons from behind bars

14. A gang of thieves sneak around from behind as dogs provide distraction

15. A cooperative knight. Quirky interest becomes a consuming monomania

16. A town, its front gate hijacked by a great creature

17. A large animal and armed herders. It wear excessive custom barding

18. A portcullis, closed until its keeper hears the signal bell

19. A church tower where a goth dude offers absolution

20. Beasts guard a rooftop, wearing ornamental armor and wielding halberds

21. A slime hidden above, drops down to engulf passing heads

22. A rodent the size of a bus, caged

23. A merchant, cheerful in a wretched place, sells powerful exotic weapons

24. A misshapen, waddling beast. Its ribcage is a gaping maw

25. On a shadowed ledge, a sneak shoots venomous missiles. Carries the antidote

26. A brute swings a massive club coated in poison. In his pockets: actual shit

27. An enormous filter feeder. Its body obscures a scroll with a self destructive spell of great power

28. A rickety wooden elevator driven by a cobbled-together water wheel. Surrounded by biting insects

29. The sister of devils sells her secrets to those she deems worthy

30. The hollow roots of a massive tree reach deep underground

31. An inept knight waits at a high window, surrounded. Knows a holy blast spell

32. An ornate bridge can rotate to connect different areas

33. Down a hidden staircase, a demon sits in a chapel

34. Silent archers guard a precarious side entrance

35. Imps, in service of the church, wield javelins

36. In front of the doors of a great hall lies a chance to hunt down a traitor

37. A skilled giant bound to his craft in service knows the secret of lightning

38. A magic ring empowers divine spells

39. A teleporting mage guards a hidden but empty tomb

40. A renowned dragonslayer and his corpulent lackey issue a challenge

41. An ambush of thorny treemen waits among the bushes

42. A stone clad knight emanates an aura of slowness

43. The grave of a legendary knight, locked with a mystical seal

44. An old smith looks for a blessed flame to enable forging special weapons

45. A living statue of rare metal wields a mancatcher

46. A huge glowing insect perches on a ruined tower

47. Massive felines charge and tumble into their prey

48. A band of warriors protect their forest from otherworldly invaders

49. Easily dispatched myconids. Their death cries call the larger ones

50. A warrior from a distant land. Welcomes any to join as he hunts people for sport

51. A spirit. Can only be harmed by someone who has been petrified

52. An elevator, its mechanisms inert and underwater

53. The remains of a city destroyed to contain a spreading evil

54. A red-robed mage applies his knowledge to physick

55. Behind a locked door, a crank to unseal floodgates

56. A giant mass of tortured souls slowly oozes forward

57. A hooded warrior, seeks to drain life force. Leader claims they are merely antiauthority

58. A wizard craftsman, self sequestered to avoid losing his lucidity

59. A hidden crevice connecting two disparate areas, home to winged raptors

60. A winding pathway up to snow covered steps, surrounded by impaled bodies

61. A wielder of acid magic, his head bandaged and bulbous

62. A rooftop corpse. Harpies watch to swarm the curious

63. A bloated wretch charges blindly and swings a flaming torch

64. A thin sword dedicated to a raven goddess

65. A warren of tunnels at the bottom of a well

66. A phalanx that has guarded a gate for an age, the soldiers stooped and melted from waiting

67. A rotting undead beast who pulls itself apart to give chase

68. A fur-covered giant with a weapon made to kill the gods

69. A beautiful woman bids leave the kind denizens in peace

70. A hefty golem examines an orrery. Holds a key to an ancient time

71. Zombie soldiers sprout iridescent crystals

72. A dragon's attendant uncannily danced with a trident

73. Multistory bookcases, stairways crisscross between

74. A huge monster whose breath sends victims to jail

75. A snake man alerts the area with a megaphone alarm

76. A cage of cephalopod mutants. Evidence that they were once women

77. A warrior emerges from the belly of a beast. She searches for her father

78. An invisible bridge marked only with bloodstains

79. A giant butterfly lapping at the sparkling walls

80. A cavern of skull-eating mollusks. Can sometimes break a curse

81. Floating heads. They moan then explode

82. A narrow canyon. Archers hide among crypts and tombs

83. Dead warriors continue to pursue as long as a skull shaped lantern is lit

84. A pathway lined with statues, several have spike traps. Skeletons give chase

85. A pit full of rolling spike monsters

86. A masked shut-in studies, surrounded by books. Can create illusory clones, lacks hands

87. A priest-hating thief who sells the belongings of his victims

88. A paradigm-altering vista of cosmic proportions

89. An undead paladin, the legendary founder of his order, attacks any trespassers

90. Among stalagmites, a shambling noble wields a huge scythe

91. A tortured witch. Her servants prey on others for the means to ease her suffering

92. A bunch of parasites skitter down a corridor. One is grossly incandescent

93. A ledge overlooks a huge hall; several of a previously encountered 'boss' monsters loiter about

94. A deformed giant guards his sister's tomb from grave robbers

95. A petrified monster made from multiple giant insects animates when someone nears

96. A pathway lined with gargoyles. Some are fire-breathing demons

97. A tentacle monster eats weapons outside an exotic style shrine

98. A bridge back to safety guarded by a living statue

99. A flustered warrior offering to clear the path ahead out of gratitude

100. A tangle of writhing roots contain a straining elemental of fire

welcome to ossic county

Alex Colville

 

TRAIN

1. Conductor Hennifer - grumpy, whistle (warning travelers away from Shekel)

2. Gregor Volkov - mute, carries carved walking stick, in TM Gang (playing chess with…)

3. Hugard - tall, smug, TM Gang (singing Kate Bush songs to himself)

4. Jess Brenkow - independent, overalls (polishing rifle parts, joining Ossic Mining as a deputy)

5. Fassifer Pols - fop, perfumer (looking for new scents, meeting trappers)

6. Leonore Samarkand - reserved, guilty (knitting, looking out window, fleeing from an accident)

Jessica Rossier

SHEKEL STATION

1. Conductor Hennifer again - grumpy, whistle (hurrying everyone off of the platform so she can leave)

2. Rustup Whelk - wealthy, earnest (waiting with flowers for Leonore Samarkand to disembark)

3. Jaki - pet cobra, leery (stroking pet cobra and waiting for Hugard to take her to meet Terrence Mito gang)

4. Krader Maize - afraid, skitterish (sneaking silver nuggets, fleeing from ghosts by the old mine entrance)

5. Secretariat Zhakah - veiled, stern (taking notes on town’s flaws on clipboard, travelling back to Ossic Mining HQ)

6. Lefty Baird - scrawny, charming (selling this week’s Ossic County Omen for 50¢)

David Lloyd

SILVER DOLLAR HOTEL

1. “Skinny Step” Huber - high-strung, talented saxophonist (demanding Caruthers do something about the bees in the walls. It’s actually Renfro’s device)
   Lemuel Caruthers - bartender, calm, eyepatch (hefting beer barrel)

2. Zedediah - goatee, quiet (debating the nature of spirits) with
   He-Who-Swims - stern, (examining Ossic County Omen)

3. Giles Cuneiform - middle-aged, jolly (bargaining over machine parts) with
   Renfro - short, impatient (doodling a schematic on a napkin)

4. White Spear - embroidered beads, spectacled (reading Faire Wood Withering)

5. Ophelia Hennifer - innocent, long braid (propositioning)
   Deborah Barnes - armed, disillusioned (becoming more and more vocally annoyed)

6. Grint Visper - shifty, unseasonably bundled (carrying $2000 in cash beneath long coat, waiting for meetup with Terrence Mito gang tomorrow)

Renoir

OSSIC COUNTY OMEN

1. WHAT GHOSTS? Sheriff dismisses haunting claims

2. Evan Dunderling Scandal

3. Rev. Nathy Carn Cole warns of locusts

4. Tracks to be built to Desacado, says Company

5. Whiskey Short After Smash at Yves Still

6. UNNATURAL BONES: Dry spell reveals unusual fossils in Lake Donahey

when they ask to research the dungeon

Maybe the librarians can help them out. This is half rumor table, half dungeon generator.

SCHOLARS FIND AN ACCOUNT WRITTEN BY:

1. An agent of a foreign empire that claimed dominion over the ruins, like Napoleon in Egypt. Inconsiderate and condescending. Mostly describes FLASHY ARTIFACTS that would be good displays.
2. A conqueror’s enslaved scribe. Reluctant and fatalistic in the face of this culture’s destruction by his overlord. Notes LAYOUT AND DEFENSES, claiming their futility.
3. The charismatic leader of a cargo cult. Zealous; earnestly claims rights as the builders’ true heirs. Focused on the trappings of builder culture to reinforce own legitimacy (mostly religion and technology: MAGIC, ARMS & ARMOR, SYMBOLS)
4. A romanticizing poet writing centuries later. Attempts to use report to further ‘noble savage’ or golden age ideology, focusing on EVIDENCES OF SOCIAL ACTIVITIES.
5. A census taker during reign of a prosperous kingdom. Dispassionate and businesslike, mostly just lists. Notes population and amount of taxable goods (TREASURE AND ANIMALS).
6. A sensationalist archeologist, tampering with the findings to win further support. Bombastic clickbait. Describes ALL KEY PARTS of the dungeon but is only correct 50% of time.

THE BUILDERS WERE UNDERGROUND TO:

1. Hide from the sun (biological reason)
2. Hide from surface weather (biological reason)
3. Hide from a particular person (social reason)
4. Hide from an enemy group (tactical reason)
5. Mine (resources)
6. Farm (resources)
7. Conceal an item (burying)
8. Contain a powerful being (imprisonment)
9. Research (observing)
10. (roll twice; unclear or contradictory reasons)

NEW OCCUPANTS HAVE TAKEN AN INTEREST IN:

1. Some sort of technical bow
2. A jade eyepiece
3. An imprisoned catastrophe
4. Ancient aged wine
5. An automatonic knight
6. Information on the Jabberwock
7. A stashed supply of gethre
8. Old, heretical version of current holy symbol
9. A powerful weapon like a cannon
10. A black mirror
11. A poisonous (radioactive) ore
12. An immortal coelacanth/aboleth
13. Orichalc burial armor
14. A mass grave
15. Rare Emperor’s Crown Mushrooms
16. A magnet with the strength to levitate metal
17. Golden oracular skull
18. A hand of glory
19. A bath that reincarnates, but leaves the user with no memory
20. A sword that reflects death magic